Just as I thought I had seen everything on the Zone, or been involved directly, I find yet another chapter in a humorous world. This past weekend I spouted out some bridge verbiage that is quite common in that arena, but not necessarily known here. I was playing with 3 ladies when the opponents bid nil and made it. My pard asked me if anything could have been done to set the opponents. Without really thinking I replied, "You must pin that stiff Johnson before she jettisons." This floored the participants at this table. I am still trying to explain the nomenclature. Probably by now I am being talked about as a sick person (lol).

Let me explain the terminology here:

STIFF: This is a word used to denote only one card. For example: Stiff jack, means just a singleton Jack.

JOHNSON: Ok I've read all the tee-shirts about big Johnsons (lol). Johnson is a name commonly given to a Jack. If I said Johnson I'm just referring to one or any Jack.

JETTISON: To throw a card away when unable to follow suit. We do this many times on nils when we lead a stiff. Our pard wins the lead and returns the suit. We then jettison a very big card somewhere lol.

And here are some terms that apply to finessing:

FINESSE: I have heard at least 5 different explanations regarding this simple term. A finesse is making a play that is not your highest card held that has reasonable chance of winning a trick because a missing, or missing cards are located in front of your tenaces. Ok I know what in the heck is a tenace lol. Also a finesse works when a key card or key cards are located in the pocket, or on a hook heheheh.

TENACE: This is just card jargon used to denote some broken sequence of honor cards such as:

AQ......KJ......K109.....AQJ....KJ109.......AQ10.....KJ10

IN THE POCKET: This refers to cards that are located in front of tenaces such as a king that is sitting in front of an Ace-Queen.

ON A HOOK: Another phrase referring to taking a finesse. I might say my 5-bid is on a hook. This simply means that if a key card is located in the right spot I will make my 5-bid as advertised.

And now a glossary of general jargon:

Artificial Bid: A bid that means something other than its straightforward meaning; a bidding convention. [Although artificial bids are extremely common in the closely related game of Bridge, they are quite rare in Spades. Two examples are the Big Five, announcing a 4-6 bid including the Ace or King of spades, and the 7-for-DoubleNil bid. - Master Spades]

Beer Card: The 7. In some circles, taking the 13th trick with the 7 is worth a beer from partner. See also: Scotch.

Biff: Ruff

Blow It Up: Ruff

Coffehouse: Unethical behavior such as hesitating without a key card in order to convince an opponent that you have it.

CHO: Center-Hand-Opponent; a worthless Partner.

Coup: One of a number of technical plays, most often used to refer to the "trump coup" in which a finesse in trumps is taken by leading a non-trump because one hand has no more trumps.

Distribution: An allocation of cards into suits. Most often, "distribution" means hand pattern, that is, the number of cards in each suit in the hand. For example, 4-3-3-3 is a distribution. Sometimes, it means the distribution of one suit within two unseen hands. E.g., "The spades were distributed 3-2."

Double-Dummy: Examining or playing a hand with all the cards exposed. In double-dummy problems, one gets to see all the cards.

Dub: Short for doubleton, meaning two cards in a suit.

Endplay: Put a player on lead when he's forced to give up a trick. Short for "strip and endplay." Also: throw-in.

Entry: A winner in one of the partnership's hands that can be used to get the lead into that hand.

Fish: A weak player. An excellent opponent. Especially for money.

Hit it: Ruff.

Hook: Finesse

LHO: Left Hand Opponent

Long Hand: The hand with the most trumps.

Overruff: To ruff higher than someone else has done on this trick.

Overtricks: If you bid 3 and make 5, you got 2 overtricks.

Partner: A cross we all must bear. Just kidding pard!! Lol

Psych: A gross and deliberate misdescription of one's hand, usually in the bidding, sometimes in the post-mortem.

Quack: A card that is either a Queen or a Jack.

Rattlesnake: Terminology used for leading a diamond back. I might say "rattlesnake" after the hand to indicate "A diamond back, pard, might have helped."

Revoke: To fail to follow suit when required. Also, "renege."

RHO: Right Hand Opponent

Scotch: In some contexts, to be "scotched" means to be beaten badly, but some players agree that if a defender takes the last trick with the deuce of trumps and defeats the contract, his partner owes him a bottle of scotch.

Shape: Distribution

Sluff: To discard a card that is not trumps. This card cannot win the trick.

Squeeze: A technical play in which a player is forced to give up a trick regardless of what he discards.

Undertricks: If you bid 5 and made 3, you got 2 undertricks.

Void or Void Suit: Suit with no cards in it.

Wasted Values: Simply a phrase that refers to duplication of values. For instance one partner has the doubleton AQ and the other has the Kx dub. If trumps are led only two tricks will score. This doubleton in each hand is a duplication or a wasted value. The Q is wasted. Another case occurs when one player bids on a void or singleton, and it is his pard that is holding a King in the void suit. This is also known as a wasted value. Both partners may have bid on the same trick.

This list is not even close to being complete but it includes many of the terms and phrases that I may use. Enjoy them and pass them on please.

Regards,
Ruffkid1 (Jay Tomlinson)